


midst.

by SAlNT



Category: BLACKPINK, Jennie Kim - Fandom, Park Chaeyoung - Fandom, jenlisa - Fandom, jensoo - Fandom, kim jisoo - Fandom, lisa manoban - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Fanfiction, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 00:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17192945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAlNT/pseuds/SAlNT
Summary: "she feels like home, an interrupted dream come true. like i've lost what's mine before i even had the chance to have it."





	midst.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! it's saint. if you're reading this, i'll be re-posting my works on here for the moment. soon, i'll be putting out something new. till then, please be patient with me. :)

the night was still young, the cityscape below her gaze looked miniature with the lights that bounced off the walls. and the heights that she was reaching within the lift must’ve been the reason for why the pit inside lisa’s stomach felt endless.

except that it wasn’t.

the elevator dings, 70th floor. and her heart races. she looks at her faint reflection on the glass for the last time, she’s aged into a fine woman indeed.

a soothing sound that played off from the piano was heard all through out the large room where a bunch of familiar faces had gathered. 

“champagne? to shake your nerves a bit?” chaeyoung suggestively said though forced a glass of veuve clicquot in lisa’s free hand. which, the woman downed in an instant and lowly groaned at the taste. she has avoided drinking for months but the occasion was something that made her need alcohol in her system for a little push to adjust.

adjust, perhaps the right word for it rather than thinking of a way to “survive” the night as if it were a life and death situation. because it wasn’t. they aren’t kids anymore to think of it in a way that meeting her ex-girlfriend for the first time in years was some type of poison that she had to avoid.

because truth be told, jennie was far from being the person she wanted out of her life. she was far from being the poison that’d kill her. 

and as lisa stands across the room from jennie chatting with their old friends, smiling and laughing lightly, the younger woman feels a pinch in her heart. but it didn’t sting, at least not anymore. instead, this brought a satisfied smile on lisa’s lips. it was rather comforting.

it wasn’t too long till her ex-lover took notice of her presence. settling their gazes on each-other, jennie smiles at her and politely excuses herself from the circle as she walked up to who- was once her greatest love. 

“fashionably late as always, manoban.” the woman joked then giggled, letting lisa plant a kiss on her cheek as a casual greeting.

“there’s a reason why early birds can never look as good.” lisa teased back, 

“i’ve always been an early bird you know that!” she laughed louder, and lisa’s heart had started to steady in the presence of jennie. a person all too familiar, even after so long.

once their laughs died down, their eyes settled on each other once again. with contented smiles that crept on their lips, they were happy, finally. even without having to be each other’s absolute reason.

 

[FLASHBACK; 9 YEARS AGO, at the prime of their early 20s, on the third year of their relationship]

 

lisa placed gentle kisses down jennie’s spine, her skin fully exposed, beautiful as she may be bare, nonetheless as heavenly as the works inside the louvre.

“cold,” jennie cooed adorably, making lisa wrap her arms around the girl beneath her.

“good morning love,” “we’re finally in paris.” “together.” the younger girl said in between the cheek kisses, she felt like bursting from so much happiness to be in a city so cliché with someone she loves.

jennie smiled at the reminder though with her eyes closed, then soon feeling the absence of her girlfriend on top, making her blink- once, twice. 

looking around the room, lisa was dressed lazily, just in her navy blue sweatpants, and loose black tee. the girl moved around swiftly, grabbing her sketchpad and a graphite pencil she brought with her.

jennie instantly positioned herself, taking off the blanket that messily wrapped her being. and as if everything aligned at once, the sun shined through the window blinds of their hotel room, exactly on lisa’s favorite parts of her woman’s body.

jennie’s hand supported her head, as she laid sideways, facing her artist. and with the other, she grabbed the fruit platter and placed it by her stomach.

she was lisa’s own venus.

a sketch of her lover on their first morning in paris together, circa of the forgotten. a sketch she quoted as “the woman i love to no end.”

but they were still so young full of potentials that had to be ventured into little-known waters. there was so much time left, and a fate too little. this was the beginning of their end.

 

[END OF FLASHBACK]

 

“you look good, so much better than ever before.” lisa almost choked, there was a growing lump in her throat.

jennie smiled knowingly, it is what it is. and they were where they are. “and your eyes look brighter than the last time i’ve seen you.” the older woman said, sincerity compacted crystal-clear.

of course. after all, this was what they hoped for each other all along. with or without the other.

 

[FLASHBACK; 7 YEARS AGO, on the crisis of their mid-20s, the fifth and the last year of their relationship]

 

the young blonde drove, miles for hours. going somewhere, just somewhere so that jennie won’t have to leave.

their favorite songs played through out the trip, to which they sang to. not minding what they had to deal with ahead.

and once they came to their final stop, back to where they started. again.

“you need to go, this is for you.” lisa faced her lover, she felt like wincing in pain.

it had to be done. they couldn’t be held back by each other, to give up on their dreams was more like losing a huge piece of sanity. and both of them knew that the person they needed to be, and thirstily wanted to be, could only be given a room of growth if they were apart.

“and you?” jennie asked, like she didn’t know what the answer would be. but they both knew- all too well.

“i’ll be here.” lisa smiled bitterly, looking away, “drawing the city and its people.” she bit her lower lip, “but you might find me in a different city, but i’d still be doing the same.” she lightly chuckled, jennie did too— bitterly.

“no one will ever know how to love me like you do.” jennie sniffed, she couldn’t get the best of both worlds. not at this moment.

“the only you i’ll ever get to love this much is who you are right now. and by the time you become the person who you must be— somebody else will love you better than i ever did.” she held the older woman’s hands, they were cold and pale. she lifted one to her lips and kissed the back of it.

“and that’s okay. trust me, you’ll be happier by then.” lisa assured her last hours with her significant other. the best way she knew how to.

once again, they found theirselves looking at each other. in monotone colors, their lips connected for the last time it was bound to taste the same. the taste of what could’ve been.

 

[END OF FLASHBACK]

 

“does it hurt?” a question, wherein lisa’s answer is no. this was the best that she could be.

watching jennie laugh in the arms somebody else made her feel something inside, just not too distinct enough for her to register that she was indeed hurting.

“doesn’t it bother you?” chaeyoung asked another question, too curious of how lisa really felt.

the woman looked at her, “of course not.” she answered. then gazed back at the couple just meters away from them. 

it was the way that jennie looked at jisoo’s eyes, then exhaling as she smiled. the look on her eyes was all too familiar. as recognizable as the stare that jennie had given her when she told her that she was finally able to perfect making pancakes without burning the kitchen.

and the smile on her lips, like the one that told her that “it’s fine”, “they didn’t deserve you anyway, you’re unconventional and they couldn’t handle how good you are.” when lisa didn’t get chosen for a scholarship in art school.

it was then she knew, jennie was no longer her venus. she’s just another star in the night sky again.

“thank you.” jennie mouthed, from afar. two words that had so much more to tell. not even a whisper— but it made lisa’s heart pound loudly in joy.

“all for you.” lisa responded, raising a glass of champagne.

 

she was, jennie’s midst.

the reason why she was able to get across the seas, and be leaded to a path she needed to take.

some may say that every beginning has an end. but lisa,

 

lisa was jennie’s midst.


End file.
